Professional Football

every piece of clothing that you own
has someone’s name and number shown
those jerseys that are meant for in your youth
are just symptom of your tragic lack of couth
it’s bad enough you’re dressing like a child
those tantrums when they lose are infantile

professional football is just a TV show
professional football--you’re basking in the glow
professional football--we’ll get ‘em next year
that is, if we’re still playing here

the jocks who pushed you down when you were young
they still steal your lunch money--they’re not dumb
you built the brand new stadium that they’ll play in
and then they’ll crank the ticket prices,
and you’ll just keep on payin’ ‘em
they oughta put your name up on the wall
i guess you’d say your team has got some balls

the first thing that an athlete learns in school
is that athletes have a separate set of rules
and it doesn’t matter what the witness saw
celebrities are all above the law
a nudge and a wink and then they get the final laugh
and the prosecutor wants an autograph

they put it in your head when you’re young
nothing’s over ‘till the final gun
you can become your heroes in your own backyard
always playing for at least wildcard
well i had some more disdainful lines to write
but it’ll have to wait ‘til after monday night

© 2001 David Stoddard