Talk Radio

I’m building me a bunker for when the man comes
knocking at my door to take away all my guns
i know it sounds paranoid, and i know it sounds dumb
but it’s so--i heard it on talk radio

they monitor your movements and i think they read your mind
they knocked me out and they put a computer chip in my behind
now they can track me with a satellite, so they can always find where i go
i heard it on talk radio

it started with the fluoride in the water
then lyndon johnson killed john kennedy
now it’s the taxes, and the census and the U.N. and the public schools
and it’s all just a liberal conspiracy

i was feeling kind of low, i had some things on my mind
and i needed some advice on how to put it all be hind
i guess that i expected someone gentle and kind, but wouldn’t oyu know
i tuned in to the dr. laura show

dr. laura says forgiveness is a weakness
and if you’re on the edge she’s got your little shove
then she claimed to speak for god to little children
you know she’s no fool for unconditional love

if you hear there’s aliens among us, well, now there’s evidence
if you hear crazy flips of logic that defy coincidence
if every crackpot with a telephone is putting in two cents, then you know
you just tuned in to talk radio

they’re al so self-righteous, they’re all wrapped u in the flag
and they say you gotta fight for freedom unless you’re a woman or a fag
and if you have to run it off ‘cause it’s about to make you gag
then you know you just tuned in to talk radio

© 2001 David Stoddard