Turds in the Street

there are turds in the street
(our street has many dogs)
there are turds in the street
some appear as large as logs
there’s gravel sticking to them
it offends the nose and eyes!
the Olson’s “Bruiser” was the culprit
based on quantity and size

there are turds in the street
there must be something we could do
with these turds in the street
you look at me....I look at you
di I ever tell the story about when I was a kid?
with a bag and lighter fluid,
the really nasty thing we did?
old man Olson yelled out
“you little sun of a gun!”
but i emerged the winner
in this game of ding dong ditch

there are turds in the street
now Olson’s kid lives in his old house
there are turds in the street
and if we’re quiet as a mouse...
“we could pick them up, you say,
and put them in the trash!”
I didn’t say what I’d been thinking, about
starting up a stash.
“then no one would step in them, and with
turds stuck to their feet,
track them into every house all up and down our street!"

there are turds in the street
and that’s the day that I grew up
the old hound had learned
a little lesson from the pup
so all you little children,
heed my sage and learned words
there’s nothing fun or funny
about playing around with turds
but if you’ve got a giant dog,
please pinch off the turd supply
‘cause someone else might come along
who’s not as neighborly as I

(c) 2008 david stoddard